Andy Juniper’s Library

Angels In The Architecture
By Andy Juniper

  • Coming Soon! Angels in the Architecture, Andy Juniper's cleverly crafted third novel, is a touching love story, brimming with heartache and loss and buoyed by humor and hope. Told in affecting flashbacks in a distinctive, confessional style, the novel chronicles the story of Daniel (Storm) Davis and the unforgettable Ali Reynolds, from serendipitous beginning to tragic end. Character driven through shocking twists and turns, Angels is a compelling story, beautifully written and skillfully executed. Revel in Storm and Ali's potent romance; marvel at Harland (Hap) Hazard's powerful presence, despite his conspicuous absences; and take joy in Janeen, Ali's eccentric mother and a veteran of more Little Theater troupes than even she could recall. This unforgettable novel, releasing this summer, promises to captivate your heart and leave a lasting impression.

  • “Andy Juniper has written a novel that will be talked about for ages. Not only for the concept, but for the language and plot. Angels in the Architecture is a treasure.” – Roy MacGregor, Critically Acclaimed and Bestselling Author

  • And that was when I first saw her. At the most mundane moment of what was destined to be but another day on life’s treadmill had fate not intervened and placed me alongside a narrow, paved road that winds around the base of a hill in Toronto's High Park. Had I not been seized by an irrepressible urge to glance up. And that was when I first saw her. Atop the hill, awash in autumn sunshine, a sultry, southerly breeze caressing her in a daring and sensual way. 

    She was standing beside a black duffel bag, and she was stretching like a cat that is languidly, reluctantly awakening from a delicious nap. Befitting an Indian summer afternoon in the city, she was wearing a pink T-shirt, tan shorts fashionably shortened by folds at the hem, white ankle socks and white running shoes, an outfit that was practical and casual and so seemingly unremarkable -- and yet remarkable enough to become permanently branded on my memory.

    In time I would document that precise, decisive moment in my life when I looked up and saw her, a moment that in my mind would become unglued and separated from time. Predictably, upon publication of that first-person account in a Toronto newspaper, I was skewered by hard-boiled critics who would not know love if it sent them long-stemmed red roses and poetry on a whim, and by a particularly skeptical soul named Harland (Hap) Hazard. Amongst assorted other things, the Hazard questioned how I could have possibly discerned (let alone been mesmerized by) her beauty considering what he deemed the “prohibitive distance” that separated us; the Hazard would dissect this scenario -- her on the hill, me down below, what I saw, what I could not possibly have seen -- with the tireless tenacity of a conspiracy theorist questioning the whole dubious JFK/grassy knoll/lone-gunman scenario, to the degree where late one night he drunkenly demanded a reenactment. A request initially sloughed off with laughter and then, once determined that he was actually serious, indignantly rejected.

    Furthermore, I was derided by critics for my flowery choice of words and phrases: namely, the "almost otherworldly bronze aura" I suggested surrounded her, and the "slivers of sunlight" I asserted were reflecting off the strands of her silky brown hair. They accused me of flaunting, indeed flogging, poetic license. They insinuated that I could not possibly have felt -- that instantaneously, that powerfully -- the connection between us, Cupid’s arrow piercing my heart. Detractors in mind, I'll stick to the bare facts regarding what happened next...

    She knelt beside the black bag. After a moment’s hesitation, she then fully reclined, supine on the grass, and placed her arms across her chest like a mortician customarily arranges the arms and hands of a corpse. Then, with an elbow, she gave herself a push-off and began rolling down the hill. 

    Rolling. Her body rotating like the rollers on a steamroller, quickly gathering momentum on the steep descent. Rolling, rolling, rolling... right on into my life.

    And in that dizzying, impetuous moment, I was reborn. Would I believe in love at first sight? Yes, like the beat-keeper for the Beatles sings, I'm certain that it happens all the time...

The Sunforth Chronicles
By Andy Juniper

  • The Sunforth Chronicles is a wry, comic, lovably Leacock-ian look at life in Sunforth, Ontario, a rustic town populated with a cadre of colorful characters: some winsome, some wise, many/most (undeniably) wackadoodle. Andy Juniper's second novel is smart, sweet, enchanted charmer: brimming with bellylaughs, blunders (see; Mayor Wallace Justice), a boa constrictor named Satan (who is loose and at large in the community), and (spoiler alert), and even... a budding romance. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll laugh some more.

  • “Anyone who grew up in a small Ontario town, or anyone who’s ever been attacked by a boa constrictor, or hell, anyone will love this book. Andy Juniper takes you so deep into small-town culture, you can only laugh your way out…” – Comedian/Poet John Wing Jr.

    “Like a squirrel digging up nuts for a long winter, Andy Juniper has unearthed some long, stowed-away humour. Light, fun, and somehow familiar, this charming book reminded me of how entertaining all of our paths in life can be. I was convinced that I had actually been in some of the locations the author described so very vividly. Bravo to you, Mr. Juniper! You put a giggle in my heart, and some sentiment in my soul. I recommend everyone dig up some nuts and grab hold of this fantastic book…” – Actor/Comedian Harland Williams

    “The Sunforth Chronicles is a wry, comic, lovably Leacock-ian look at life in Sunforth, Ontario, a rustic town populated with a cadre of colorful characters: some winsome, some wise, many/most (undeniably) wackadoodle. Andy Juniper's second novel is smart, sweet, enchanted charmer: brimming with bellylaughs, blunders (see; Mayor Wallace Justice), a boa constrictor named Satan (who is loose and at large in the community), and (spoiler alert), and even... a budding romance. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll laugh some more.” – Lynne Perras, Canadian Book Review Annual

Sweet Grass
By Andy Juniper

  • Sweet Grass is a slick, comic romp chronicling the bitter-sweet love and bungled life of Booker, a failing, floundering metropolitan journalist, a man perched precariously on the edge. Sweet Grass marks the emergence of a wonderful, wry voice in the rich Canadian comic tradition of Leacock and Richler.

  • “I’ve read (Sweet Grass) and, to tell you the truth, I laughed aloud… Like that famous short story by Leacock about the visit to the bank, or like certain aspects of Walter Mitty’s secret life, the description really captures everyone’s shared experience of public embarrassments.” – Daniel Richler, Author of Kicking Tomorrow

    ”Reviewing Sweet Grass, Andy Juniper’s critically acclaimed 1994 novel, The Hamilton Spectator had high praise for the author’s “witty narration” and his “keen ear for dialogue.” Books in Canada said “some of the novel’s best laughs come from the dead-on satire of the late 20th-century journalism in decline…”

Strangled Eggs
By Andy Juniper

  • Help yourself to a heaping helping of Strangled Eggs, and experience the wit and wisdom, the off-the-wall-wonder, and the laugh-out-loud lunacy found in Andy Juniper’s acclaimed essays.Strangled Eggs is the author’s second collection of wry essays on family life – a much-anticipated follow-up to the acclaimed When you get done bleeding, will you get me a snack? For the past 18 years, Andy has built a large loyal audience with his weekly humour/lifestyle columns that have appeared in The Oakville Beaver and various other newspapers and magazines across Canada. Strangled Eggs features the author’s unique take on life and covers topics as off-beat and diverse as a diet that’s sure to cleanse the colon; a society that is going straight to cell; the jousting abilities of Dr. Lance A Lot; Nude Recreation Week in North America and the haunting specter of weird Uncle Willard in a thong. 

  • "Juniper is Garrison Keillor...with an edge." – CBC Radio

When You Get Done Bleeding, Will You Get Me A Snack? By Andy Juniper

  • When you get done bleeding, will you get me a snack? is the author’s first collection of wry essays on family life. For the past 8 years, Andy’s weekly humour/lifestyle columns have appeared in The Oakville Beaver and various newspapers and magazines across Canada. These essays have enlightened – okay, entertained – his readers about the various intricacies of family life. They’ve also tickled more than a few funny bones. 

  • “I’ve just wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, and picked myself up off the floor where I rolled in hysterics after reading three columns…” – Leslie Garrett, Editor, Kids Toronto Magazine

    “The hardest thing to write humorously about is real life – even though we all know it’s by far the funniest thing that ever happened to us. Andy Juniper has a fine touch and a great eye for the absurdities of everyday living. Enjoy.” – Roy MacGregor, The Ottawa Citizen

    “If the family didn’t exist, humorists would have to invent it. Luckily for Andy Juniper and his readers, biology solved the problem. Juniper delivers – though his wife is the one who actually gave birth to the children.” – John Levesque, winner of the Leacock Medal for Humor for Waiting for Aquarius